Movie Madness!!! 6

"Strange things will happen to you soon!"

"The Hangover", "The Matrix", "Teen Witch".... all classics in their own rights.  All are exalted as great movies.  Except for "Teen Witch", which is exalted as a terrible movie.

"Teen Witch" (1989) is about a girl who finds out that she has witch powers and then uses it to become popular.  Among the terrible acting, 80's fashion sense, nonsensical plots, and cheesy one liners, the most egregious problem is that the protagonist does not even learn her lesson!

She abuses her powers to humiliate teachers, mind control famous pop stars, give herself a make over, possibly kill a nerdy kid, and make the popular boy fall in love with her.  There is never that moment where she thinks: "Hm.... this maybe morally wrong to use my powers like this."  It's pretty bad.

On the bright side, it gave the world some of the best songs!!  Wait, let me try that again.... some of the "best" songs!!  It has a rap where the lyrics are all the euphemisms for a penis:

Oh and the other song is the utterly brilliant: "Top That"!!  One day I will learn all of the words to this rap.  I cannot say any more other than, just watch it for yourself:
"Top THAT!!"


  1. for creeeepy abuse of new-found powers in a teen "comedy", nothing's got nothing on 'zapped' tho'…

    1. Oh I agree with "Zapped". Nothing worse than rendering your entire school's prom dance naked.


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